Left It All Behind Breakdown

Two individuals, possibly lovers, holding hands. One hand is full of color with melanated skin while the other is lifeless and black and white. The colored arm is cut off with a knife which was done by itself. A woman , made from blood, emerges from the cut off of arm and stretches outwards. Despite the graphic illustration there’s a peaceful blue background of the sky with white clouds. This piece has been made from charcoal, color pencils, and oil pastels on a 14 x 17 inch paper.

I made this piece because I wanted to illustrate the change in perspective that I had when it comes to breakups, ghosting, and fallouts within relationships and friendships. In general I don’t think people have bad intentions but rather they make selfish decisions without considering how other people feel. So it’s not like most people are deliberately trying to hurt you, but without any closure we can’t possibly know that. I wanted to illustrate how people can still feel pain from making a decision to cut someone out of their life. It’s not easy to separate yourself from someone you love, but sometimes the most painful decisions are the right ones to make. That’s something that I failed to realize until now.

With this piece that I made, I’ve learned to be more understanding as well as to be more accountable within my relationships. I’ve learned to also let go and move on with my life. I used to have trouble dealing with my own thoughts after having people ghost me. I desperately needed closure so that I could understand what went wrong and if it was my fault or not. I have a habit of always blaming myself and then moving forward with the mindset of needing to be better, which left me feeling inadequate. I spent some time working on myself and I can now let go of the need for closure. I figured that there was no point in wasting energy on something I don’t have the answers to… plus, I now believe that moving on after someone makes such a decision is showing them love and respect.

I hope those who see this can come to the same realization as me. I hope they don’t cause themselves grief trying to search for answers for something that no longer concerns them. Most people don’t like change and wish for things to stay the same, but if that were to happen then we wouldn’t be able to grow as human beings. I believe that just because something turns out bad doesn’t take away the beauty of what once was. Part of the journey is the end. I’m proud of myself for coming to terms with the circumstances of my life… I hope you are too.